I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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