It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
