We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
