This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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