if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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