If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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