I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
