I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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