Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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