I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize