i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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