Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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