my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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