your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
