shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
