he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize