is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
