so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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