I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
