i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
