I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
