Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he puts the penis in happiness.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
