I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
