She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
