One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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