ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
