I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize