So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
