I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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