ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
