Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
