I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
