i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
