you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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