If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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