with your own penis?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He passed out mid-signature
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
