I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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