Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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