I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
