Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
