thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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