she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
