Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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