I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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