the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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