Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
