two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
