I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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