No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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