are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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