so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
