hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
