Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
