I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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