There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
