i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize