Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
