Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's never too late to be topless.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
