I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
