If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
