come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
