Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
