so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
